Helping Our Friends

Sorry I have been gone so long! We welcomed BabyB into our home eight short weeks ago. I will touch more on her later, today I want to talk about you. Today I want to tell you once again that you are worth it! The following is a letter I wrote to a dear friend about her weight loss journey. She is considering weight loss surgery and I just had to reach out. I hope you all find my gems of wisdom for her helpful for you too! If not, just keep reading the blog. One day something I say will click, I promise!

Dear Friend:

The long and short of what I wanted to talk to you about last night was support. You need support. You need a food and exercise buddy to work out with you, learn about new foods, go to the farmer’s market, help you plant things, and help encourage you through the whole process. I couldn’t have done it without Adam and wouldn’t be able to lose the baby weight without him. We are together regardless (and without judgment). We learned about foods; how to cook them, what we like and we are open to experimenting. Everything from soup to sushi, parsnips to broccolini, crabs to swai, we have tried them all and learned about ourselves and our bodies. You can do this. The WLS is just a tool, like a treadmill or a refrigerator full of veggies. It isn’t the whole picture. It’s not a magic wand and you really have to apply every tool you have to achieve lifelong fitness. 

Sincerely, 

Louise

Why bother?

As I mentioned before, it takes a team to help a T Rex make a change.

I had someone ask me today why should they pay for a medically supervised weight loss program? Here are just a few reasons why it worked for me, and why I don't think you'd hate it:

Preparation. I don't know about you but I am a researcher. I like to know everything about everything that I am getting myself into before hand. I like to read, ask questions, and dig deeper. Having a doctor who had answers to concerns and who addressed topic before I ever thought of them was great. For example, my doctor had me fill out a questionnaire that included this doozie: "When you get to your goal weight, how will you respond to people who are jealous or think you will gain it back?" This told me two things: this woman thought I could actually reach my goal weight, and there would be downsides to losing.

Dealing with disappointment. Weight loss is a journey. Say it with me: a journey. No matter how far you need to go on your journey there will be things you didn't plan for. Plateaus you weren't expecting. Days when you are STARVING and can't figure out why. Days when your old jeans are too big and the new smaller size doesn't fit and you feel bloated and you dropped a weight on your foot and you are giving up and eating donuts because it's too hard. On those days, having someone qualified (and rational) in your corner to remind you how far you have come and what you still have left to do (ahem, to talk you down) is an immeasurable help.

Deal with the downsides. There are downsides to weight loss, beyond the occasional "Donuts because I can," days. Those are things you might never have thought of, things that creep up on you and make you feel like you were better off the way you were before. For example, after having lost 70 or so pounds, I started having gallbladder issues. I thought, "This only happens to fat people who consume lots of fat. This is the healthiest I have been ever!" Then I re-read my entrance packet to the program. Turns out, if you lose OR gain a bunch of weight because of diet changes, your gallbladder might just stage a mutiny. It happens. And having a doctor there to talk to you about why you are always freezing, why you seem to be fatigued or loosing hair, or why your insides want out hasta pronto is well worth it.

Are you meeting your fitness goals on your own? If you are, then stop reading this blog, stop thinking about how to change your training routine, don't think about going to a doctor for help and guidance. If you don't need my advice, you don't need to pay for a doctor's, that is for sure. But if something isn't clicking, if you are struggling, or if you need a knowledgeable confidant and leader to help you, by all mean call a medical weight loss center today and put your money where your chub is.

If none of this makes sense to you, or if you think you can still do it on your own, go for it. You may do great, you may not need a team. But if you are struggling, ask for help. It's more than just a bi-weekly weigh in and pep talk. It's real knowledge and a helping hand.

Adam's Story

I have to admit, I am ghost writing for my husband. He is very articulate and could very well do this himself, but he won't, so I have to. Please excuse any things that seem like a girl wrote them. Because she did.

The way we lost weight was very similar, but our driving reasons were very different.

There we were, four years into a flourishing relationship, living together, loving one another, and working hard. But it wasn't easy. Nothing is easy, but being 343 pounds makes some things difficult. Demanding. Laborious. Wearisome.

I couldn't sleep. I would snore myself awake every day. Yes, day, because I work night shift. Which was hard enough on my heart. I was living with unbearable plantar fasciitis that made it hard to walk. Even my bench seat in my truck seemed confining. I was tired of buying my clothes at a big and tall store, and, for that matter, having to buy clothes every six months because of my expanding weight. Then, I had a doctor tell me they wouldn't continue my medication until I came in for an appointment. The last time I had gone to see them, they made me so ashamed of myself, I couldn't go back.

I didn't really have any ideas. Eat less, sure. Workout, probably not. Drink less, yeah right. Then Louise started asking if I would go to the gym with her. Since I would do anything for her including walk the plank, I figured why not.

Why not work out with her a little bit if it makes her happy?

Then she started talking about this weight loss doctor. At first, our insurance covered it. So why not? Why not go to a weight loss doctor if she wants to? Why not support her?

Then, the first two weeks of going to the doctor, I lost 12 pounds. 12 pounds lighter, I wasn't overwhelmed with success. I wasn't giddy thinking I could take on the world. But it was an incredible start. It made a impact on me. That moment when I finally computed how much I had lost was the moment I realized we could do this.

We worked together, meeting at the gym when I got off of work in the morning, before she went to work. Our routine was similar; we would walk on the treadmill, side by side, chatting or just sweating, for about 45 minutes. Then we would do some reps on the standard machines. Then we moved on to free weights. The weight kept coming off and I kept feeling more and more motivated. We changed our diets through the guidance of the weight loss doctor, and decided on a few meals we really liked that met our calorie limits. Day in and day out we did the same things: gym, eat right, lose.

Eight months later, we were half the people we were when we started.

I still have a little ways to go, and some fitness goals I hope to meet, but I am so thankful I decided to do this with Louise. We support each other, we learned together, and we grew closer. (And not just because our waists' were smaller...)

Louise's Story

In order to jump into this blogging thing with the attitude of full disclosure, it is time for you to learn a little bit about me. I will try to keep this relatively concise, as it has been a long year and a half.

I will have to start before my actual weight loss journey with a great, fat, failure. I was in nursing school at a local community college and I failed out of the program. Yes, I said it, I failed. A great many factors made this more depressing for me than the average bear.

• I have never failed anything academically before. Ever. Not a test, not a class, not a standardized test.
• I didn't fail because I am not smart enough. More on this in my personal writings, or if you want to contact me, but I failed because of a weighted system that doesn't actually care about the student or their abilities.
• It was a crushing blow because the ENTIRE time throughout the program, people- family, friends, neighbors- everyone kept comparing me to everyone else. "If so-and-so can do it, you sure can." That only instilled a sense that I deserved to succeed, that I had to to prove them right, and that those people were some how inferior to me. All of which are the wrong reasons to do anything in life.

After failing, I had two choices: kill myself, or find something I could succeed in that was less... gruesome. I really felt that way. I looked at my life, and I looked at the things I just had no energy for. I had no energy to start nursing school elsewhere. I had no energy to write a book. I changed my career slightly, and that didn't feel like it was enough. I took a greater stock of my life and figured why not lose weight. Why not.

You might be thinking, "Is why not a 'good enough' reason to start a lifestyle change in order to lose weight?"

And I will tell you, who cares? My reasons are my reasons and they got me this far. You need to find YOUR reason, little T-Rex, to make this work for you. Maybe big and tall clothes are just too expensive, maybe you want to go sky diving and there is a weight limit, maybe it is a last resort. Either way, let's do it.

I begged my then-fiance to go to sign up for the local gym with me. His response? "Why not?" (Yes, we are perfect for each other.) 

We did, and we started going three or four times a week and trying out machines, figure out what we liked, and basically just hanging out there. About three weeks into this dog and pony show of attempted health and fitness, I still couldn't even get on a scale. Then I remembered something I saw at my GYN's office. An advertisement for The Center for Medical Weight Loss. 

Why not? This playing around at the gym wasn't working.

I met with the doctor and the first thing we did was get on the scale- and by 'we' I mean me and my five chins. The total? 282 pounds, a whole lot of that was fat, not much was muscle and all of it was embarrassing. But this was just the beginning. If I gave up here because I was too fat, I would never change, so I saw her once every two weeks for the next eight months. She talked to me about diet, drinking water, calories, and was a general therapist when I thought I wanted to quit. I will talk a lot about her later, don't worry.

About two weeks into seeing my weight loss doctor, the gym started advertising one free session with the trainer. I signed up and met with Matt, who walked me through some basic exercises. He was upbeat, and most importantly, he believed in me. Initially, he was going to set me up with a trainer who played Ultimate Frisbee- a fact, I think he thought would sell him- then he looked at my availability and decided Greg was a better fit. (I never did meet the Frisbee enthusiast, but I thank my lucky stars for Greg everyday!)

This is how and why it all began. This is a glimpse into what made me want to, what helped me stay my course, and what made me successful. My fiance, my weight loss doctor, and my trainer all made this work. I mean, I did the work, but they fueled the fire, as it were.

Next week, I will ghost write for Adam about why he jumped on board the weight loss train with me.

Until then, remember: major life changes don't happen by themselves. You need a motivation and a team.

Why I Will Talk About T-Rex So Much.

One time, during a very strange job interview, I was given a choice:
Was I a T-Rex, a Dolphin, or a Turtle.

According to the interviewer, I was one of the three. Was I a T-Rex, stuck in the past, immobile, unwilling to change and short on arm length, never reaching beyond my grasp. Or, was I a turtle, slow and begrudging to change and dumb enough to get caught on an asphalt road at high noon, burning my stubby arms on the pavement. My final choice was to be the majestic dolphin, who went with the flow, having my own language and a good navigation system. (Actually, I think this particular interviewer had an issue with arms, as the dolphin is lacking in the upper body appendage department as well, but that is another story entirely.)

I am going to ask you that very same question now about your fitness life:

Are you stubborn, stuck in the past, unwilling to change, and dissatisfied with your protruding stomach? Are you slow, lethargic, and primitive? Or are you fast paced, ever-moving and toned from tip to tail?


A year and a half ago, I was a T-Rex. When you think of fitness, what is more awe inspiring than a ravenous T-Rex? A lot of things. For one, no one has ever actually seen a T-Rex do his thing in the wild. Ever. Who knows, he might have been the slowest creature, more sloth than cheetah. His fat stomach and tiny, stubby arms don't really lend to being active and fit, now do they? No. But we are not T-Rex's. We are not extinct, and we do not have unbearable short arms that only dream of doing push ups; we are ever-evolving, capable human beings with dreams. Aspirations. Goals. I was the T-rex who woke up one morning and had had enough. I wanted a change, I wanted to accomplish something.

I wanted to become the dolphin.

Now, having lost 81 pounds and been led on an incredible journey along side my husband, Adam, I can safely say I am becoming more and more like our friend the dolphin ever day.  But I never want to forget where I started, and I want you to not only envy me, but join me. Evolve. Make the transition.

Look in the mirror and say "Today, T-rex dies. Today, I evolve."